Texting is the Gateway to Choosing

Okay...so recently, my lifes philosophy has been

LIFE IS JUST ABOUT TEXTING AND SCREWING...

True? I think so. Relationships are all..or mostly just a secure sex partner. Because now, noone knows themselves enough to not be insecure. And insecurity ultimately becomes the cancer that ruins everything. ...everything.

So what's left in life? Sure..go to class and do those things that we all must do..but its relationships with other people that sustain life. Because after all..I wouldn't even know that I existed unless someone told me. (Marinade on that....really..if you fall down or scratch your knee..you only know that you're not dead and still alive because people tell you so)
So I suppose the only thing there is to do is text and sex..and wait for everyone to buy some security...and pray that it has a warranty.

Grad Sad

I'm in the bed, legs fast asleep with my beezy's...listening to the soundtrack of our lives and sealing Riss' thousand plus Graduation announcements...

I can't believe the sitcom is ending..this fucking sucks.

It's been one hell of a run...I totally feel like our sitcom shits all over FRIENDS...and the Cosby Show...and Family Matters....and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Our lives could re run on UPN forever..and ever and you'd BETTER watch it.

You'd see all types of cool shit...like...
Tumultuous and crazy relationships..Ike and Tina, Jay Z and Beyonce, Ashton Kutcher and Demi\ Jennifer Hudson and Punk and Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon.

The Real World..altho there's no fabulous gay..but there is life like alcohol overflows for free. And there would be scenes of public urination, stumbles down the street,hour long convos with the coolest homeless people on the planet, sweaty club scenes...sweaty thirsties..drug house raids...oh those are delightful.

The music would be awesome too. Imeem and iTunes have the most loyal following..by 3 gals..well 2 that are constantly hunting for new tunage.

If smell o vision ever comes to be, you would smell Little Italy, and Mexican delights...and red potatoes..and onions and garlic..ooh garlic. It comes out of my pores.

Buuuut...I suppose the sitcom will just grow and change..like Saved by the Bell. We've had the College Years. The next step will the Tres: the Fucking Fabulous Years.

The years with relationships that don't kill your sanity. And expensive wine..and water in wine glasses...and bionic hairdos and red bottomed shoes. Luxury cars and lots of lofts..vacays..HUGE checks....and duh, the restaraunt opening.

I can't imagine life getting better than getting wasted with my buds..but hey, there's a 4 20 in every year. Muhaha...

Its allllll good

Hello there

I guess it's a good thing that I've been too busy to blog...but a bad thing that I kinda forgot I had a blog. Muha :(

-who told the penis carrying species that they get a special card that makes their lies believable..or acceptable?

-i don't like twitter

-i hate that fermented taste I always get after a night of liquor liquor liquor

-i wanna be made

-i am currently in school with kids that were in the damn 90's. Double you tee eff??

-i HATE..excuse me. Fucking LOaTHE school. Please make it stop

-crackheads are so innovative and skilled..I have a couple crackhead friends

-mkay
Holler

JUMBLE-aya

I dont much feel like writing a narrative...so I shall share my scattered thoughts as they come..that's the best communication anyway..

-This ain't a scene..it's a goddamn arms race
-"Man, why we don't stone niggas no more?"
-Rashad Brinkley...reason 100 million why this guy is my besty

TEXTS OF THE MOMENT:

1.U skank! I miss the Longfellow..His dick is huge.
2.You fuck sure kould have told me you were home.
3.Nicole? That's her name?
4. I know. Fucking.Bitch.Rotten.Dirty.Bitch
5. i AM an old woman. I HAVE been out of the swing of things for too long. I AM tired. 12:20 sat night...im so cool
6. Get on twitter so i can have a friend
7. Right now im waiting on sum sex to cum thru afta dat dese joints i kno havin a party but im open to otha shit whas good


SB09 will certainly be stupid...can't wait.

i also cant focus.
this should hold u over. :)

i'll be back...on to the many sippages in the freezer. muha

sdrawkcab....SDRAWKCAB

Yesterday, i was awakened to the sound of my Napoleon Complex having next door neighbor shoveling...or kicking...or jumping on ice. It was around 6:30, and once he stirred me from my sleep, I searched and searched for the nearest exit out of "awake"...in an honest, but fruitless, attempt to go back to sleep.

Lucky for me, I got to see the sunrise...which i NEVER get to do... and it was AB-SO-LUTELY amazing. One of the few things in life which arent train wreck stamped that I could sit and watch.

So of course, i couldnt enjoy it as beautiful and leave it there...my mind went to the left and destroyed my moment.

i felt cheated that when the sun is the prettiest, I'm asleep..with no idea of what beauty is unfolding right outside of my window.

But I'll turn that...and vow to take the time to be awake and around for the best things.

-I'm going to be up for the sunrise..at least every once in a while

-I'm going to vacation now, when I'm young and can enjoy it, rather than when I'm retired, barely walking, and scared to pee on myself.

-I will not fold my favorite clothes. Instead, I'm going to stretch them out and tack them to my wall...so that I can see what made me fall in love.

-I will also pause at sunset..and relax, and allow myself to set with the sun, even if only for a minute. (i wonder if the sunset is that pretty on the weekends. If I were the sun, I would feel played..like I was putting on this amazing show for nothing)

-I'm gonna doodle in places other than class...and frame my creations

Ok, this last one is random, but I want to watch a squirrel's entire route..to wherever he or she goes. I want to know where its running to.. and where it's running from.

*STAMP

Simply delightful...my window is cracked and the smell of clean linen is just a floating around...simply freaking delightful.

I think we can do better than a convenience key

So...its cold as a sick serial killers creation's hand gesture in DC. It makes me want to fill my cheeks with air and stomp, hard...just to make the picture clearer. Imagine everywhere you absolutely NEVER want to go...for whatever reason, and all the spirits and souls from those people and things and places morph into leprechauns (not wearing green of course) and they invade your brain..causing it to freeze..they pull snot of ur nose and rest it above ur top lip..they sneak huge gusts of wind through your clothes at sporadic times to appear discreet. And then thees another one that just messes with mind. He makes you do little I'm cold dances. Or tuck ur head into your neck. This whole cold coalition sucks.

Okay..inauguration was amazing. Being in DC on a weekend of such flat out culture was crazy. I can't say that I did anything especially different this week/ weekend, but it seems like everyone of so proud to be just exactly who they are. Obama is a bi-racial man (PAUSE to understand and reflect on the perfection that is he. He swagged all over DC with that stupidly gorgeous face..that damn burgundy scarf was perfection...and his smile, smokers lips included....there are small children in the Hamptons, North Korea, Zimbabwe, and lonely streets in NW DC who would give anything just for a flash of that smile. Ugh. My president is fine. As fuck. Good. Ness.
I'll leave it here and not go into cliche, redundant, "individual" "unique" experiences. Ooooopppps. I'm sure somebody has already had mine

Ok. I'm rambling..here's the freaking point:

***how do cell phone companies decide what games automatically come on the phone? They're all (from what ive seen, standard, horizontal, and vertical such and suches. How do we know that the movements used n these games aren't linked to something much bigger?

_sidebar..getting sick..but everytime I inhale, I swear I hear some of the soundtrack to shaka zula.

MOVING....
So....back to cars. Each time I get into the car, I have a destination. It is NEVER to go to the gas station JUST to get gas. So I'm pissed when I get there because getting gas is such an ordeal. Ok...so when I leave from breaks I always have a lot of cash. Why in the damn hell can I get a soda more easily than I can get gas?? WHY do I have to walk to the confusing doors only to lean down into the nasty little window to yell 3 dollars (yes 3) on....idk the punp...there 1 other car here. Then all that high tech: I slide u the tray, u slide it back...god forbid our hands r in there at the same time.
POINT? Why can't we have dollar counter/ feeds AT the pump???? I'm doing it.
And also...y can't we think of some feasable way to prepurchase gas to avoid trips to the gas station all together

Did I mention how awesomely fine Barack H. Obama is? Geeeeze.

PS. I think it would be wonderful to sleep in a traditional, flowing wedding dress. (With loads of body and layers and ridiculous shit that makes it poofy but soft)That would be so sick....I'd prolly retire and sleep forever...only waking uo for pics and to sass every now and then

Almost done- ladies...encourage ur men/women/children/ or we make the uncomfortable face when posed with this q guy to frequent the good barber for the FULL meal.

Line up was crispta
Sideburns wouldve cut me..and caused me to bleed
Cheeks- brown and extra smooth...almost like the side of an engorged breast
The face is always killer tho. YUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLEEEEEE

Are Cumulus the Fluffy Ones?

As I was leaving home..I got into a serious fight with the clouds. Atlanta's airport is always a lot busier than DC's. It takes longer to check in, way longer to get through security, and longer for me to find the right terminal and gate. I don't mind it, tho, because by that time, I'm trying to inhale all of the Ga that I can reach, to save, for when I'm homesick in DC.
And as I was in the airport, sadly stuffing myself of all that is Ga, I got quietly disturbed at the thought of flying away from home. I wished instead that I could be instantly teleported back to DC, as not to watch my home fade into nothingness.
So this thought went rampant as I sat in the window seat, straining my shitty little eyes to try to find anything familiar from up so high. Maybe a Varsity sign, or a pool that I convince myself is one of my elementary school friends, or a cul de sac that I know is mine.
As I was personalizing the birds eye view of my city, the clouds taunted and teased me. The higher I went the more they protested. I was going forward and my home was being left behind. Such a sickening feeling. I begged them for just one final look at my home, as I flew away from it. Alas, they refused, and banded together, blanketing my home in a thick shield, as peaceful and serene as it was. And they played the most sickening game of peek a boo with me. They would loosen their grip to each other at times, breaking just long enough for me to see an outline of something unclear, but within seconds, the sick game was resumed and I couldn't see home.

Days later, I think I might be a little sad. I still feel like I was whisked away from my home...and all I wanted to do was look at it until it was too small for description. Fucking clouds. I'll show you.

*Today marks the 24th year of perhaps one of the most wonderful ppl in my life....all of it. Because u don't read day to day, I'm sure you'll c this in 3-5 business days, but...Happy Birthday. I Love you...more than I love ranting...we're gonna have an effing blast with or without the party bus...you ____ guzzling phenomena. :)

Phuck

-Im in the strangest of moods
-I feel like there are many Brandi souls in my body..one in my throat, one in my head...only on the right side...and one in my soul...wherever that is
-Is it strange that I think my soul is somewhere near my abdomen? I can't place it anywhere else..it has to BE somewhere..i can't imagine a soul being in my toes..maybe it's in the ink of my tattoos..that would be hot.
-I want to say FUCK really loudly right now...this isn't the first time this break that I've felt like that. Well I did it..didn't do what I thought it would do.
-I've stolen a fucking awesomely delicious ring from my mom. It's so effing gorgeous its stupid. And it makes me feel so incestually gay and giddy that she was like doing cool shit and being gorgeous (which she was...and so...THE SHIT)with the same ring on her little hand.
-I hate peeing instantly..I love it..but only when I hold it so long that when I finally release it, its orgasmic.
-I don't do ringtones anymore.
-My dad's name is Joseph...and I call him Joe.
-I have over 25 first cousins..and 14 aunts and uncles. Family functions are sick.
-I got refracted for glasses and I so badly want that piece of equipment that eliminates the lenses for glasses....it makes the coolest sound..and it's only $2500..totally asking for it for Christmas.
-I love the way my ring finger and pinkie look. they're so cute.
-I lost 15 pounds this break...HAHA..sike..but i did lose 3.
-My handwriting has gone to shit over the past couple of years.
-it takes me about 2 hours to get out of the bed in the morning..and about 4 to get up and get dressed to go out in the evening.
-I CAN'T STAND being put on the spot for my number from an undesirable guy. But I hate to be mean.
-I wish Brandi was my niddle name and I had a cool first name that I only sometimes went by. My brother and sister get to...what is this Amos conspiracy?
-WHHHHHHYYYYYYYY can't someone give me a nickname? It's been so long..am i not worthy?
-I wonder if my kids will know how to tell time, do simple mathematics, and spell...

WalMart, my Love

I went to my special place today. Behind the expressway, behind the devil in architectural form; gas stations, away from text messaging, and phone calls, name shouts, and calls to the street. And I sat in my parked car, far enough away to see everything and everybody. Window slightly cracked, just enough to let the air from outside balance with the residual heat that blows through the vents, even when the heat isn't on. I took my shoes, off, as I do everytime, sat indian style, and gazed.

It became so amazing to me as I sat there. I fucking hate time. I'm a rebel, have been for 22 years. So why should i subscribe to the phenomena of something I can't even see controlling every, single, tiny, minscule thing I do....or don't do. So I love the Wal- Mart parking lot. I can escape from time; time stands still for me, and I watch thepeople around me be time's puppet. They run in the store, out of the store, run up the aisles, down the aisles. They look for the shortest line so they're not waiting too long. THey of course, haven't the time to wait in line. They rush back outside, where they leave their carts in the street, because time doesn't permit them the additional 3 feet to leave it in its designated area. Engine start, reverse lights, one or two movements, and they're gone.. off into another one of time's traps.
Time traps. The inevitable evil that is never ending. lol. My dad's sick, but still doing his daily tasks and refusing to rest, as he typically does. He doesn't have time to rest. 24 hours in a day and he can't find just a few to slow it down and rest. It's time for me to greow up. I'm 22, have had one real job and have no idea how adulthood works. But it's time...not because I say so, but something...this thing. Time. "Time for bed". Sometimes, it was time for bed at 8pm. I was 6 or 7, with all of the energy in the world. Not tired. Actually restless..REST-LESS. But at a certain time...it was time. So my flame was extinguished..because time said so. Another year has come and gone, and I didn't get all I wanted out of 2008. I wanted to color more. Or even color one picture. And I wanted it to go on the fridge at my parents house. And I wanted them to coo at me and tell me how amazing it was. But alas, I can't do that. I'm 22. Coloring time is over. Even though I can do it better now...and I can actually color a picture, instead of lines of color. And even if there was time alotted for a 22 year old to color....2008 is gone. And time...the awful villain, has kept me from coloring in 2008. Why didn't I color 4 days ago? I didnt have the time. A week before that? No time. There's just never any time. Before the Christmas break, which is ime alotted away from school, it was finals time. and each morning, it was breakfast time. And in the afternoon, lunchtime. And in the evening, dinnertime. And after that, time to study, time for homework. Spend time with friends and lover. Time to shower, time to wash clothes. "What time is it? 10:00". Time to watch House. Time to watch 30 Minute Meals, time to watch the Hills.
It's getting late...so much time has passed, time to go to sleep. Time to wake up.

"Hey Brandi, i called you yesterday".
"Oh yea, I was sleep...".
"Well, you wanna get lunch?"
"Oh I can't..dont have time"
"Oh, well when are you done for the day..just give me a time, we"ll make it work"

And there are meetings, napping too long, studying, group projects that meet at a certain time. So the week is out...no time for coloring.

The weekends are worse. Protocol calls for sleeping in. To make up for time missed sleeping during the week, of course...or hangovers. Time to clean up. Time to get lunch. Ugh..why does it take so long...so much time to get to CPK and back?

"It's getting late, we gotta get to the liquor store"
"Nope, missed it. It's 12:00. They're closed."

Time for stores to be open and closed.
Gotta get dressed. Can't party when you want. Parties begin and end at certain times. Can't be in the streets all night either....after a certain time it's dangerous.

And when time gives a break from timely chores, it's time to rest... so there's no hiding.
So I never colored my picture..i simply didnt have the time.

I hope in 2009, time allots me a slot to color. a slot for me to hang my picture on my paren'ts fridge, and a time for them to praise me.

If not, I may have to barter with time...and trade coloring for my sessions at Wal Mart...