WalMart, my Love

I went to my special place today. Behind the expressway, behind the devil in architectural form; gas stations, away from text messaging, and phone calls, name shouts, and calls to the street. And I sat in my parked car, far enough away to see everything and everybody. Window slightly cracked, just enough to let the air from outside balance with the residual heat that blows through the vents, even when the heat isn't on. I took my shoes, off, as I do everytime, sat indian style, and gazed.

It became so amazing to me as I sat there. I fucking hate time. I'm a rebel, have been for 22 years. So why should i subscribe to the phenomena of something I can't even see controlling every, single, tiny, minscule thing I do....or don't do. So I love the Wal- Mart parking lot. I can escape from time; time stands still for me, and I watch thepeople around me be time's puppet. They run in the store, out of the store, run up the aisles, down the aisles. They look for the shortest line so they're not waiting too long. THey of course, haven't the time to wait in line. They rush back outside, where they leave their carts in the street, because time doesn't permit them the additional 3 feet to leave it in its designated area. Engine start, reverse lights, one or two movements, and they're gone.. off into another one of time's traps.
Time traps. The inevitable evil that is never ending. lol. My dad's sick, but still doing his daily tasks and refusing to rest, as he typically does. He doesn't have time to rest. 24 hours in a day and he can't find just a few to slow it down and rest. It's time for me to greow up. I'm 22, have had one real job and have no idea how adulthood works. But it's time...not because I say so, but something...this thing. Time. "Time for bed". Sometimes, it was time for bed at 8pm. I was 6 or 7, with all of the energy in the world. Not tired. Actually restless..REST-LESS. But at a certain time...it was time. So my flame was extinguished..because time said so. Another year has come and gone, and I didn't get all I wanted out of 2008. I wanted to color more. Or even color one picture. And I wanted it to go on the fridge at my parents house. And I wanted them to coo at me and tell me how amazing it was. But alas, I can't do that. I'm 22. Coloring time is over. Even though I can do it better now...and I can actually color a picture, instead of lines of color. And even if there was time alotted for a 22 year old to color....2008 is gone. And time...the awful villain, has kept me from coloring in 2008. Why didn't I color 4 days ago? I didnt have the time. A week before that? No time. There's just never any time. Before the Christmas break, which is ime alotted away from school, it was finals time. and each morning, it was breakfast time. And in the afternoon, lunchtime. And in the evening, dinnertime. And after that, time to study, time for homework. Spend time with friends and lover. Time to shower, time to wash clothes. "What time is it? 10:00". Time to watch House. Time to watch 30 Minute Meals, time to watch the Hills.
It's getting late...so much time has passed, time to go to sleep. Time to wake up.

"Hey Brandi, i called you yesterday".
"Oh yea, I was sleep...".
"Well, you wanna get lunch?"
"Oh I can't..dont have time"
"Oh, well when are you done for the day..just give me a time, we"ll make it work"

And there are meetings, napping too long, studying, group projects that meet at a certain time. So the week is out...no time for coloring.

The weekends are worse. Protocol calls for sleeping in. To make up for time missed sleeping during the week, of course...or hangovers. Time to clean up. Time to get lunch. Ugh..why does it take so long...so much time to get to CPK and back?

"It's getting late, we gotta get to the liquor store"
"Nope, missed it. It's 12:00. They're closed."

Time for stores to be open and closed.
Gotta get dressed. Can't party when you want. Parties begin and end at certain times. Can't be in the streets all night either....after a certain time it's dangerous.

And when time gives a break from timely chores, it's time to rest... so there's no hiding.
So I never colored my picture..i simply didnt have the time.

I hope in 2009, time allots me a slot to color. a slot for me to hang my picture on my paren'ts fridge, and a time for them to praise me.

If not, I may have to barter with time...and trade coloring for my sessions at Wal Mart...